please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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