Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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