And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
