toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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