yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
