i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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