It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
