I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
