I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
