i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
