idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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