all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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