Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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