i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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