And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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