please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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