i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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