This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize