How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
