So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I wish you could order shots online.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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