The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
