I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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