Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
