I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
