I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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