I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
