I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
