I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
