I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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