If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I party with great urgency now.
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