I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
