How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
