so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
