dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me