Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
