Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
