can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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