considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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