I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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