I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
grandma shit on top of the toilet
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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