It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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