I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
