Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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