We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
