ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
