I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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