can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
