people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
