office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
