we made out on top of his cat.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
