I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
