Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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