you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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