honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
