the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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