You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I am mentally ready for anal.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
