Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I think people are normalizing furries
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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