haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
