Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
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I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
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rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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