Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
