the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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