I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
