well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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