She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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